))"Do what you do. Do it well. Don't bother me about how to do it."
"The burning flesh when you get blessed is probably just a side effect of Botball"
The Best Friend / Ass proverb:
When selecting a best friend, you want to pick a person who wouldn't mind accidentally touching your ass, and a person that in the same situation, you wouldn't care either. You want to pick a person who's open and comfortable, and wouldn't mind telling you how great your ass really is. You want to select a person who can tell when you're having a bad day, and when there's no real cure, doesn't mind kissing a little ass you cheer you up. You want to make sure however, that your best friend wont be afraid to kick your ass if you're being a pain in one. Anyone can be nice, but only a true friend will make an ass of himself for you to get the point when you're being a stupid-ass. This is the true friend that will forgive you when you're forced to give them a taste of ass.
Pass this to everyone you know has the guts to be an ass when you need it
"Hey, anyone want to have nasal sex?"
The relationship between the speed of time and the boringness that Mr. Drapalski exibits is inverse. This is to say that T=S/D, where T is the speed of time, S is the measured, or regular, speed of time, and D is the Drapalski Factor, also known as how loud you are muttering something about why the bloody hell he won't shut up.
"Better look like an idiot than be one"
I dreamt I was a butterfly. I could not tell I was dreaming, but when I woke I was I and not a butterfly. Was I dreaming I was the butterfly, or was the butterfly dreaming it was me? Even if there is no relation between the butterfly and I, the distinction is not absolute, and there is no cause and effect.
"Let people think what they think. If its right, then you have nothing to fear. If its wrong, its their problem"
"When life gives you lemons: make lemonade, peel those lemons to make lemon skin clothing, and plant the seeds of the lemons to grow some more"
"Pain doesn't hurt, it's just... painful."
"Living has a 100% chance of death, did you know that?"
*hits Mike with cauliflower*
"
"Everything grows on trees, its just a matter of finding the right tree'
SquashMonster: that didn't end up as funny as I hoped
SquashMonster: maybe if I toss a rabid weasel into the situation
SquashMonster: "I miss the...
What can I say?
"Now, take a look at the folks around you when you've been offered to take another go at smoking some pot. Where are they going in life? Bill Gates didn't become the richest man by smoking pot. (Although, I'm pretty sure he stole a tractor at one point. Maybe we should all try stealing tractors too.)"
"A trapezoid has no circumference."
"I AM ERROR"
"
"Discuss whether the electoral college continues to serve the democratic process or whether it is- as some analysts have said- a political dinosaur. 'Personally I'll agree that it's the political dinosaur bit. Poli means many, tics means blood suckers and dinosaud means terrifying lizard;broken down this means many blood sucking terrifying lizards. It most definitely sounds like Bush's type of people. So, with that in mind, you tell me!'"
Langley: everything I care about ends up running away in the end
SquashMonster: thats why I'm learning to run
Justin: Hey, that actualy feels rather nice
Brendan:
Justin: Hey, at least it got you off
Brendan: Yeah, in more ways than one
Justin: You have now reclaimed your title of sick bastard
Catluver: do you know the best way 2 eat jello?
SquashMonster: I haven't the slightest
SquashMonster: should I add that to my research que?
Catluver: through a straw
Catluver: guess what kindof jellop I have now
SquashMonster: soylent green?
Justin: So, what type of car are you waiting for?
Garret: A blue van. No, wait, a red van. It's a red van.
Justin: If you take the blue van, you'll wake up at home and think, whatever you want to think. If you take the red van, and you'll find out just how far this rabbit trail goes
EliXiR: lol that would be the best
EliXiR: a swimming lane on the side of the highway
EliXiR: >_>
EliXiR: O_O {{{{idea}}}}
SquashMonster: I'll suport your petition to whatever officials are in charge of that
"I can see it now, some shadey figure comes up to me and says "hey man, got any weed?" and I say "no, I sell seed, you want the guy next to me" "
Andrew: what is IF text?
Justin: I think you might want to give me some context here
Andrew: 4. Highlighter, IF text is purchased by student
Justin: ...
Justin: you're honestly taking honors English?
Andrew: yep
Justin: it's saying you need a highlighter if you purchased your own text book
Andrew: i know what it means
Andrew: did you think i was that stupid?
Justin: yes
SquashMonster: ah well, it's only life, what's the worst that can happen?
Sabishii: No kidding. Might as well have fun considering no one gets out of it alive anyway
"There are jobs all over the place, but if you enjoy the highway median so much, here, have this bag of wheat seeds. You can farm the median, I'm sure the Department of Agriculture will be happy to help you with any questions."
Andrew: procrastination will kill me one day
Justin: good to know
Justin: now you can plan defenses against that
Justin: of course, by the time you get around to that, it will probably be too late
"Not yet."
"An evil miracle is still technically a miracle"
"Old mcDanald had a farm, ee, i, ee, i oh. On his farm he had an ameba, ee, i, ee, i, oh. And a w00t w00t here a w00t w00t there, ee, i, ee, i, oh!"
"
"Contrary to what you all seem to believe, if you're an ass while drunk, you probably are normally too."
SquashMonster: mmm, if I ever invent a citrus type fruit, I will definately name it the tangent
SquashMonster: somewhere between a lime and a tangarine, I think
Sabishii: <cheesy joke>hmm,then you could be a rich tangentleman </cheesy joke>
"Every year someone asks me if King Louis XIV was gay. And each year I respond with 'No, but his brother was.'."
"A recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies calls for 4.28 x 10^22 molecules of sucrose, convert this to grams"
Sabishii: No idea. It's like I feel empty and bored and pointless
SquashMonster: mmm
SquashMonster: I think you need some cheese curds and a pencil sharpener
Sabishii: How will that help? Granted in this state it might
SquashMonster: well, pencil sharpener = pointy = not pointless
SquashMonster: and cheese curds are fun and filling, thus removing both boredom and emptyness
Ephrion: wow
SquashMonster: yep
Ephrion: indeed
SquashMonster: I concur
Ephrion: I find myself in agreeement
SquashMonster: I have fury agreement
Ephrion: All your concurrence are belong to us
SquashMonster: An agreement is me
Ephrion: Agreers don't do drugs
SquashMonster: The agreeblecia is in session
Ephrion: I am AGREE. The peninsula is to the west.
SquashMonster: Two things are infinate, the universe and my agreement.
Ephrion: Live like you were to die tomorrow, agree like you would live forever
SquashMonster: How many roads must a man walk down before he concurs?
Ephrion: There is no cosmetic for beauty like agreeance
SquashMonster: To disagree is human, to agree is divine.
Ephrion: Those who will not agree, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.
SquashMonster: Do not try to squeeze agreeability out of stones.
Ephrion: Don't teach a pig to agree, it'll waste your time and annoy the pig
SquashMonster: It's no use to beat a dead agreement.
Ephrion: You can lead a horse to agreement but you can't make him drink
SquashMonster: I'm sorry, you're wrong.
EliXiR: now i got to urinate
EliXiR: you musta hit my bladder
SquashMonster: yeah, I'm roxor like that
"Look, if I warm up my breasts with my hands, do you think they'll get bigger or smaller?"
Andrew: i think the sky broke and the little pieces are falling down...
Andrew: either that or lots of dandrif...
"A banana will do the trick"
"Yes, if only god had covered the tree of knowledge with saran wrap, we would still be living in paradise"
Anne Arundel County Standardized Chemistry Test
Langley: accidents happen
Justin: so, do you have a chest?
"Wow the bunnies eyes taste different than the bunnie"
"If you piss someone off blame it on me; it's easy to blame the minority"
darkpaladan:*throws martina to justin*
Now, assuming that every possible state of reality has an equal chance of being what's actually going on, and I find that to be a reasonable assuption, considering that we cannot prove anything at all, there are two extreme points. One is that everything we observe is correct, at least untill we observe something else that contradicts it. The other is that nothing we observe is correct, and thus absolutely nothing at all exists and we're all figments of nothing's nonexistant imagination. (Both of which, of course, are the proverbial utter mindfuck).
"When he can read God directly, the hour is too precious to be wasted in other men's transcripts of their readings. But when the intervals of darkness come, as come they must - when the sun is hid and the stars withdraw their shining - we repair to the lamps which were kindled by their ray, to guide our steps to the East again, where the dawn is. We hear, that we may speak."
"Alright, some example bib info: "Greg, Gerken. How to Fail Tenth Grade English and Hurt Yourself With Papercuts"..."
Ellon: "Yeah, this is so annoying, the child development teacher didn't tell us that we had to rewrite the whole book on these little note cards untill the last minute."
1.) Which best describes an electron:
A. Positive with more mass than a proton
B. Negitive with more mass than a proton
C. Positive with less mass than a proton
D. Negitive with less mass than a proton-Chris, pointing out how dumbassed that chem test was
Ellon: yea i do -Mike and Ellon. I think this was taken out of context.
Ellon: no-Ellon and I.
Also taken out of context.
Talking about treasure chests, not Ellon's figure
(Please don't kill me, you're perfectly shapely).- Ellon, once again out of context-Jancarlos, trying to take Corbin's job.
No, you don't know who Corbin is.
SquashMonster:*catches Martina and puts her down gently
SquashMonster:JC, don't throw people around like that, someone will get hurt! -JC and I.
And a very confused Martina in the background.
As we move less extreme, more and more possibilities open up and at a very fast rate. From the nothing spectrum, we immediately get the possibility that something out there exists and is imagining this all, and there is a mind-blowing array of possible things that could be that one thing. From the everything spectrum, we start getting a plethora of situations where some degree of what we see is false, perhaps enough so that what I halucinate when I forget to make my heart beat isn't actually there.
Following through, one can see an increasing number of possibilities as we get ever slightly less distant from our extremes. At a true middle ground, there will be the largest number of possibilities. We've already established that of all the possible true realities, the one (maybe more) correct reality is equally likely to be any of them. Since we have no proof at all of anything, it's reasonable to say one is chosen at random. Statistically speaking, the chances are by far the highest at the mid point, so we likely live in a universe where about half of what we observe is real.
Therefore, I exist, but half of you are figments of mine and other people's imagination, and a good number of the people who actually do exist are fish. -Me.// BUGBUG: This is total bullshit. fSysError might as well be a random number after this call.
// But that't ok because nError is already a random number to start with. Sigh.
// This should be a range check instead of hoping that LoadString will fail.
fSysError = !LoadString(HINST_THISDLL, IDS_REASONS + nError, szReason, ARRAYSIZE(szReason));
-Windows source code.- Ralf Waldo Emerson-Mr. Gerken.
Martina: "It looks like you're making note cards on it for the big English essay."
Ellon: "Oh yeah, I'm sure there's plenty of deep meaning in this kid's book."
Martina: "Well, what's it about?"
Ellon: "There's this little ladybug that rides on the back of all these different animals untill it decides that none of them are good enough and it starts flying."
Justin: "...So you're saying the ladybug represents the universal struggle of mankind as one tries on various accepted molds and roles for oneself, before reaching the conclusion that one must fly on their own, right?" -Ellon, Martina, and me.
